Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Valentine's Day past

I feel haunted this year by the ghost of Valentine's Day past. This week is weird. I find myself questioning things I've done in past relationships that have led me to where I am today. I rarely do this - but this week I think the mix of the terrible weather and the stress of a project in my hometown (more on that later- hopefully) has me thinking too much.

My most favorite thing to do is put in ear buds and listen to music while I do things - clean, workout, whatever - at home. I know I can just listen to music through my wireless speakers, but for some reason I really like having earbuds in. So I was cleaning, listening to music, and Lips of an Angel by Hinder came on and stopped me dead in my tracks. I haven't heard that song in quite awhile and boom. Ghost of Valentine's Day past.

For some reason, this morning I can't stop thinking of a V Day when my guy of the moment just randomly showed up at my apartment at like 630am and wanted to take me out to breakfast. As soon as he said that, I got so excited because breakfast is my favorite meal. Plates of hash browns and scrambled eggs danced through my head. But...by "taking me out to breakfast" he meant going through the Burger King drive thru (I do not eat fast food breakfast items) and then going to Ameristar so he could cash in his Valentine's Day coupon. He made me late for work that day, and he yelled at me for being too "good" to eat fast food breakfast. I don't remember for sure, but he probably made me pay as well....he often did that. Ghost of Valentine's Day past.

I typically feel really good about  my current life situation and am pretty happy with it. But this week....this week is weird.

Ghost of Valentine's Day past.