Tuesday, February 20, 2018

That moment

I recently saw a movie that talked about that moment.

That moment when you make a move and it changes everything. Sometimes the moments are huge. Sometimes they just change the way you feel about a person. But, in one tiny little moment, things changed.

I sat in the theatre and pondered this. I was by myself (literally my favorite way to go to the theatre) so I could just sit for a minute afterwards in silence. That moment. Those words hung on me. How many "that moments" could I remember?

I remember the exact minute my mom told us she and my dad were divorcing. I was with my three siblings watching Charles in Charge. I remember how the sunlight was pouring through the window. I remember Mom walking in and telling us, and Nicole's big brown eyes staring at me, waiting for my reaction. I started crying, then she did. (I have since found out that Mom was supposed to wait for Dad so they could tell us together. Of course, that's only one tiny example of the nastiness of their divorce.) One moment my world was put together and fine, the next it was torn apart and I had no idea what to expect.

I remember the exact moment friendships ended, I remember the exact moment of deciding to be the "other woman" in relationships. I remember the exact moment that I answered a text, in a car riding back from Sioux City with my sister, and I have wondered so many times what would have happened had I just ignored that text. And I remember the exact moment my dad told me that Duke died, and I remember not even feeling the tears building up, just all of a sudden I was crying.

Of course, for all the terrible moments there are the best ones. Like the exact moment Dad and I were shopping for a pool table and we got the call that Gavin was on his way into the world. Or the moment I got called to HR at Harrah's, and as I walked down the hall my VP was standing outside his office holding his forehead....totally prepping to lay me off. While that seemed like a terrible moment, it was actually exactly what was supposed to happen. And that's exactly the point of all of these moments. Everything has ended up the way it was supposed to, and my life is seriously awesome because of all of these moments.

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