Monday, February 27, 2017

Struggles

I am really struggling with some personal stuff lately.

I am stressing out about family issues, even though not a single one of them is really "my" issue. All of my relationships are fine. But other people's relationships are strained, and that makes me stressed out because I don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt. But I seem to be the only one who really cares about hurting feelings, which stresses me out.

All of this is causing some serious anxiety and stress for me, and I do not know what to do about it.

How do you calm down when you are all worked up? I am on google looking for tips now.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Celebrity deaths

If you know me in real life, you know that I take celebrity deaths very, very badly. I think this is mostly because I have never experienced a real loss in my teenage-adult years, so I have little to no perspective when it comes to losing people.

Last weekend, when Nick and I and the boys were at Buffalo Wild Wings, I couldn't help but think about one of the times we were at BDubs in Omaha. The boys were doing their thing, Hannah and Nick were talking and I was watching the TV on one of the far walls. All of a sudden, breaking news....Whitney fucking Houston = dead. I lost my mind. I was hoping that our return trip to BWW wouldn't equal another celebrity death.

The first celebrity death I remember really feeling passionate about was Lucille Ball. I don't know why. I was only 8 years old when she died, but I remember being really affected by it. I dreamt about her a lot, and just couldn't seem to shake off her death.


Some other celebrity deaths that have rocked my world are:
1. Paul Walker. I was in Minneapolis with Missy when Paul died, and we were on our way to meet our friend Adam for dinner. I couldn't even speak. Luckily both Adam and Missy know what a spaz I am so it didn't seem to affect them (or I was playing third wheel and they didn't even notice I was there, anyway).

2. Cory Monteith from Glee. I am still not over this one, even a little bit. I was lying in bed when I got a text from my friend Jill. All it said was "Glee kid dead." I guess Jill wasn't affected as much as I was.

3. Amy Winehouse. I am such a fan of her music. I am so sad we will never hear more.

4. Brittany Murphy. Jill and I were at Walmart when one of us got the news on our phones (probably me - I am pretty sure Jill was still using a flip phone at that point).

5. Whitney Houston. Besides the meltdown in a Buffalo Wild Wings, I went home that night and melted down again. I spent the entire night youtubing her videos and crying. I still haven't stopped listening to "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" on repeat.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Another weekend at the compound

I spent this past weekend with Nick's family on the compound, but I did not take a single picture. What the hell?

Anyway, I took Friday off so that I could get some things done in the morning and really take my time getting to Mount Pleasant. I left Omaha around 1p, so I could actually get there right about the time they were all getting home and spend the evening with them. Also, so I could run through Taco Casa in Des Moines and bring dinner for us all.

I got there and we ate, and Chandler gave me an amazing valentine. (A rock. It's pretty.) Then we sat down to play some board games. We started with Sorry, and then moved on to Life, which is RIDICULOUS. The game has changed from when I was a kid, and I HATED it. So then we played Sorry again.

Saturday the boys had swim lessons, and then we hung around at home for awhile. Hannah, Chandler and I went on a walk because the weather was amazing. It was nice to see their neighborhood, even though I hate everything about it and want them to move home already. After that, Nick and I took Coop and Chan to see The Lego Batman movie and to dinner at BDubs. Nice little night out!

Sunday I got up and played some more games of Sorry with Chandler, and then I needed to leave because I was holding up their day - Cooper and Chandler were itching to get to Walmart to spend the money Grandma Achenbach sent in their valentines. I stopped for tacos on the way home, too (shut up, don't you dare judge me).

I got home around 230p, and found out I can get all my laundry and my food for the week prepped in 90 minutes. That's pretty amazing!

I loved my weekend with the Boone's, but I'm really ready for them to be closer to me. I can handle a 2.5 hour drive, but this 4 hour crap is for the birds.

Wellness check - Weeks 15 and 16

Sorry I missed last week. I was off on Friday and had stuff going on, and the days have just been flying by. However, there is basically no news to report.

I am down .7 of a pound since week 14. Two weeks and less than a pound lost! NOT GOOD.
2.4 pounds to go towards March 1st goal - probably not going to happen!
16.2 pounds to go towards October 19th goal - this will still happen.

I mean, obviously I know what I am doing wrong. I had tacos twice last weekend. I had popcorn at the movies. But also, I'm old and the pounds just don't fly off like they used to.

I need to just refocus, which I have done this week. When I got back from Nick's on Sunday, I was actually 1.5 pounds up from where I was this morning. So I am actually just relieved I was able to reel it in and get back to where I was at this equal with last week's weigh in.

This week will be better.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

New love

I have a new love.

He's bigger, in all ways. His brain holds so much information it's overwhelming knowing I will never reach the end of it. He's bright, beautiful and will help me reach new levels like no one before him.

I had to let go of an old love in order to make room for this new one in my heart, but he is worth it. I'm thinking, truly, that this love will last a long time and, so far, I have no regrets whatsoever in bringing this new deliciousness into my life.

I wonder if my new iPhone 7+ feels the same way about me.

P.S. The new levels I will reach are on Cookie Jam. Level 2581 and still going strong.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Wellness Check - Week 14

This week was kind of a bust, but the scale did not move up, so I am happy!

Down .3 from last week
2.9 to go for March goal
16.9 for October 19th goal

I am not really sure why the scale barely moved this week. I've actually been eating better than before, and my workouts have been amazing and consistent. I'm not going to spend too much time worrying about it, though, because all of my clothes are fitting so much better and I just feel better.

I am trying really hard to eat well until next weekend when I go to Nick's house and make two Taco House stops in one weekend (shut up, I deserve it.)

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Gavin Robert Wilson

Gavin was my first nephew, and he's always been one of my favorite people.

My sister and her first husband got divorced when he was 1.5 years old. So for almost nine years, Gavin went back and forth between the two. Sometimes this was okay; sometimes Gavin would come back and it would take hours (or days) for him to get back to normal.

In the past few years, it hasn't been good. Gavin spent more time upset with his biological dad than he was happy. He questioned things he did; he asked questions a ten year old shouldn't be thinking about. It came to no surprise, in September of 2016, that Joel decided he was done being a dad and gave up his rights.

While it came as no surprise, I still can't believe someone would actually give up the right to hang out with this goofball (warning:overload of adorable Gavin pictures to follow):










So Joel's lost is our gain! On Wednesday, Nicole's second husband (and dad to Alex and Quinn) adopted Gavin. Gavin changed his last name to Wilson (Nicole's maiden name, obviously,) (he felt a little weird about taking Cherko as a last name, which is understandable since it's a lot of ask of a ten year old to change his identity anyway).


We celebrated the day by starting at the courthouse, then moving to Dad's for a brunch celebration. Chocolate chip pancakes, #squadgoals tshirts and knowing that legally Gavin is done with Joel made for a pretty stellar day.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Me-time, movies and bingo

This weekend was amazing and exactly what I needed to reset my life.

Friday night I rented Florence Foster Jenkins from Redbox (Meryl is nominated for best actress) and worked on some low-carb recipes that I didn't end up liking and just threw away. But at least I tried!

Saturday I went to see Lion (Best Picture nominee and SO GOOD), then met my sister's for lunch at Ruby Tuesday (finally got to use my gift card) and then went home and meal prepped, worked out and played Nintendo all night. It was AWESOME. Then I went to bed and finished reading my JFK book. Seriously, sounds nerdy and boring, but I was so so happy.

Sunday I went to see Moonlight (Best Picture nominee, I didn't really enjoy it) and went to the library. Then I went to bingo and finally won! It was only $10, but it basically paid for my evening and my grandma entertained the hell out of me all night.

I went home after and watched the last 8 minutes of the Super Bowl, then went to bed with my new book about Debbie Reynolds.

I feel relaxed, happy and ready to take on the week! Happy Monday, folks!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Wellness Check - Week 13

Down 1 pound from last week
February goal - check!
17.2 to go for October goal
March goal - total of 16 pounds loss - 3.2 pounds to go

Well, clearly from the numbers above, my weigh in yesterday morning went well! I am very happy I hit my Feb goal, and am excited for March's, even though I am terrified again.

Just a few more goals I have set for this month -
1. Attend kickboxing/strength days more often. I go pretty regularly, but sometimes I get distracted and just go to the gym instead so I can be closer to home and start earlier. But I definitely work harder when I have a coach/instructor at the front of the room pushing me.

2. Work at getting more good, pure proteins in my diet. I've gotten pretty lazy and have been eating a lot of red meat and protein powder - time for the goods again (chicken, turkey, etc).

So, to recap - I am 12.8 total pounds down. And tonight is TGIT, so basically my life rocks right now.