Thursday, July 28, 2016


I turn 36 today. 

Late thirties.


Do I feel old? Yes.

Do I look old? Yes.

I feel like 36 is going to be a year of transition. Everything feels different today. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Summer update

So clearly I haven't blogged in a long time. I think it's been like 44 days.

A lot has changed in 44 days.

To begin with, Nick and his family moved away. They left yesterday for Mount Pleasant, Iowa (about four hours away from Omaha). He got a job at Iowa Weselyn College (or university...I'm not really sure which) and it was a super awesome promotion, and then Hannah got a great job, too. It's a really good move for their family.

Don't I sound supportive and happy?

Whelp, I'm not. At all.

I got the news when I was in a car for 8 hours, driving back from the Black Hills with Missy, Ryan and Natalie. Those poor people. I quit speaking and held back tears during the entire drive, and then finally exploded when we were about two hours away from home. It was bad. Bad bad bad.

Basically, this is what has happened in the last 8 weeks: I get all upset, then I accept that they are leaving and I'm okay. Then I get pissed and hate him for leaving. Then I get sad and cry and get all upset, then I accept it and I'm okay. And that went on and on and on until yesterday, when he left.

I haven't cried since he left, but I have also avoided him since last Thursday. I am just in a weird, weird spot right now.

Since I apparently need to overload myself with change (which I hate, by the way), I quit my job at Midland and started a new one this week at Clarkson College in Omaha.

I am sure you are thinking what everyone is thinking...that I didn't want to be at Midland without Nick. And obviously you are partially right, as his goodbye would have been one billion times worse if I had to deal with losing him at Midland and losing him in my real life.

But the bigger reasons are more normal: Clarkson is closer to home (my commute is now about 15 minutes, rather than 45), they are paying me more money, and I was missing the nerdy registrar stuff I used to do.

There was a two week gap between jobs, which I took to watch a LOT of Grey's Anatomy and basically just do whatever I want. It was glorious. I spent some time with Nick's family and was able to wrap my head around him leaving.

I plan on getting back into my blogging life, so this was just a quick update on what is going on. I'll write something of substance tomorrow!