Sunday, September 28, 2014

Give me back my hometown

First of all, I will get back to my Thursday goal setting stuff next week. I'm not even sure what day it is today.

This weekend was B.A.N.A.N.A.S.

First of all, Thursday night was my brother's rehearsal dinner. Yes, my baby brother got married before me, but we aren't talking about that.

Friday was his wedding day. But in true Wilson fashion, we try to cram as many busy activities into small periods of time as possible. So Friday was also Glenwood's homecoming, and Gavin and I had to ride on floats in the homecoming parade. If you need more information on Glenwood's homecoming, read this entry from last year. To sum it up for you: it is crazy. So Friday morning I got to town, and then I hauled ass to meet my class to ride our float. Then I hauled ass to the Caste Unicorn ( badass, army vet brother got married at a place called Castle Unicorn) and posed for family pictures. And by "posed for" I, of course, mean photobombed.

After that, I hauled ass to pick up Zach, because I made him promise the day my brother proposed that he would be my date for this wedding.

Here's my mushy thought for this event:

My brother served two tours in Iraq and hasn't been the same since. Obviously, the army and serving overseas changes everyone, but he was injured and life isn't the same. He's angry a lot and doesn't seem to enjoy much of anything. He gets irritated quickly and has a short temper. I've been nervous about this wedding, and this relationship, and since he's my little brother I am overprotective.

However, during the dollar dance, I asked him if he was happy and his answer was "Jen, I am so happy." And I started sobbing and that was that. He even has seemed different since Friday. Happier. Lighter. I like it.

Anyway, after the wedding Zach and I hauled ass to meet up with some of our classmates at a bar.

Saturday was our actual reunion day, so I headed back to the bar but took it much easier that night. Today the girls and I met up for brunch so we could discuss everyone we saw over the weekend.

It was a beautiful weekend, and I saw so many wonderful people. But I'm not going to lie...I am PUMPED for bedtime tonight.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Thursday stuff, which is really a confession

Hi everyone.

Let me tell you about my week.

First of all, I achieved all my goals from last week. I stayed away from all cookies, cupcakes and cakes. (It was hard.) I did awesome workouts, running included, but I also swayed a bit and did other awesome things. And I got all my nursing files done at work, but somehow that still hasn't slowed anything down yet. The dust has to settle sometime, amiright?

Second of all, my weigh in this morning was exactly even with last week, down to the ounce. I will take it....because...

Something weird happened to me last weekend.

Saturday morning I got up early and met Missy and Jeff to do the walk for ovarian cancer. Jeff's mom died from this type of cancer, so Missy and I walk with him every year to honor her. The first few years it was a big group of us, but the last two it has just been me, Miss and Jeff. I like it better this way, to be honest. It's a nice little tradition for us.

After the walk, we went to breakfast. I ordered what I wanted, and tracked the points for it. I told Miss and Jeff I had like three points left for the entire day. Nervewracking, yes, but I had earned a helluva lot of points the day before with my ten mile run, so I really wasn't that worried. I could dip into my weekly points and activity points if I needed to.

Missy dropped me off at home, and then I went out to the outlet malls, then to the grocery store. This is where my weekend started to fall apart.

I bought ice cream, cheese and doritos.

And then I went home and started eating. And I ate until I went to Nick's to watch the Husker game, which wasn't until after 8pm. 

I woke up on Sunday and cleaned my entire apartment, did laundry, anything to keep me out of the kitchen. Then I ran the Superhero 5K with one of my students. It was her first 5K, and I was so excited she asked me to run it with her.

Then I went home and ate everything in my kitchen.

As I laid in bed on Sunday night, I thought about my weekend. I was disappointed, obviously, but I had tracked everything and was still within my points (thank god I had run that ten miles). But I was more annoyed because I couldn't figure out what happened. Why did I binge eat like that? What was bugging me? Was I stressed, sad, upset, anxious? What had triggered that behavior?

I still haven't figured it out, and I avoided the scale until Tuesday morning. When I stepped on it, I saw I was only .4 of a pound over what I weighed in at last Thursday. And all of a sudden, something clicked. I was successful with weight watchers before because I truly wanted to lose weight. For the past few weeks, I have been half assing it because I didn't want to lose weight...I just felt like I needed to because I am above my goal weight.

All day Tuesday I thought of the reasons why I lost weight in the first place. And I realized, I want to get back to my goal weight, where I am not worried about looking fat in pictures and feeling sexy wearing certain clothes. So now, I'm not doing this just because I feel like I should want to...I'm doing it because I actually want to.

This might only make sense to me, but this is my blog/diary with it.

And now, my goals for this week are....

Food - this week's goals will take me right up until the day before my brother's wedding. Between the rehearsal, the wedding, my reunion on Saturday and then my road trip with Juana on Monday and Tuesday (I promise to actually blog about all of these events), the week after will be a shit show. So...this week I am going to continue the no cakes/cookies/cupcakes thing, and I am also going to do the no potato chips thing.

Workout - I would like to do one good treadmill workout (I found a really good one on pinterest), one good outdoor run, and continue my daily strength workouts. (I will do more cardio than that, but I want to at least get those two running workouts in.)

Other - I need to go to the library. Shut up.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thursday stuff

Let's get down to it.

Last week's goals -
Food - I rejoined Weight Watchers, so my goal was basically get back to tracking. I did track every single day. I had one pretty major cheat night, but I tracked every bite.
Workout - I had 19 miles to run in one weekend. I didn't hit it. I developed a cold, and needed a break so I took it.
Other - Cleaning and laundry. Done and done. Those aren't even chores for me - I love doing it.

My weigh in this week was eh...I was up .8 of a pound. That's fine. I know why. Back at it!

This week's goals -

Food - No cookies, cake, or cupcakes. The three C's. That I love more than life itself.

Workout - I am training for my half, but I am adjusting how I am doing it a bit. I am still going to get a lot of miles each week, but I am going to focus on one long run and a few short runs. My body is craving other forms of working out right now, and I am going to listen to it.

Other - I want to finally get through all the nursing files at work. Lame, I know. But it's taking forever!

Monday, September 8, 2014

Ok, Cupid.

I'm sure some of you have noticed something missing from my blog. 

A single girl who doesn't write about dating?

There are a few reasons I don't write about dating on this blog. First of all, I am extremely secretive about that part of my life. Second of all, I am seriously the worst person ever at dating. 

That all being said, I do belong to an online dating site. It's called I do not actively use it. At all.  I don't even know why my account is still active. 

Okay, I do know. I keep it because it's entertaining as hell. I don't expect to meet my soul mate on there, or even a good temporary boyfriend. But sometimes it is hilarious to get on there and read the messages I get. Because, not to be conceited, but I'm fucking hot and I get a lot of messages. 

However, I am not consistent whatsoever with checking it, and I only have the app on my iPad, not my phone. So last night I clicked on the app (mostly to get rid of the little number icon, let's get real) and holy shit...

Ummmm. Jeremy. You're overwhelming. 

One guy caught me while I was clearing out messages. His picture was actually cute, so I responded. But sadly, he already broke up with me. 

He seriously quit responding after that. Hilarious. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

High and low

My office at school is in the Student Center, which used to be gym. It still has a hardwood gym floor, so on some evenings the dance team uses it for practice. During one of my late nights last week, they were out there and before they started practice, they stood in a circle and everyone listed the high point and the low point of their week. Which of course, I am going to copy and use for a blog entry. I might do this every Friday, but you all know how I am with commitment so let's not get crazy.

High point - obviously there will always be a lot of high points because my life is awesome. Last weekend was great - Friday night I drank wine and did exactly what I wanted, Saturday I went tailgating with the Boones and Monday my parents has a BBQ that was so delicious and awesome. 

Wednesday at work I got SO MUCH DONE. That was for sure the high point of my work week.  Ever since I took over nursing advising I have been so disorganized. I feel so good about where I'm at now. 

Then tonight Missy, Katie and I went to dinner to celebrate Katie's birthday. A good dinner with good friends is refreshing to my soul. 

Low point - Last night into this morning was for sure my low point. I didn't sleep well, and when I did sleep I had two terrible nightmares. I have this reoccurring nightmare where someone breaks into my apartment and when I'm trying to scream at them to get the fuck out, I open my mouth but nothing comes out. It's terrible. Then I forgot to turn my alarm off (my days off switched to Thursdays, but my alarm is  still set for every weekday) so I got woke up at 630, but I couldn't go back to sleep because I was sick to my stomach. So I was up for a few hours, and then I napped and when I woke up, it was already 90 degrees out so my run was also a big bust. 

Thanks for reading my high/low for this week, which may (or may not) becomes weekly thing. 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

New life - old habits

Hi guys! I bet you thought I had already given up on my new habit of making weekly goals, huh? 

I didn't. But I made a pretty significant life change so I've rearranged my week a bit. 

Last week's goals were: 
Food - no potato chips. Epic fail. 
Workout- runs. Done! 
Other - get my shit together at work. Done! 

This week: 
Food - well here's my big life change - I rejoined Weight Watchers! I feel really good about this decision. My weigh in day when I was on it before was Thursday, so I will use that again and I am changing my "goal" day to this as well. 

Workout - I am struggling hard with runs this week. I am hitting the point of burn out. I remember feeling this way at about this time during my last half training. I will power through, but wow. My legs,body and brain are exhausted so running is so tough. To stick with my running schedule, I need to run 19 miles in the next three days. I don't even know if that's possible. But I will try my hardest to get close. 

Other - i need to do laundry and clean on Sunday. I now that's a lame one, but if I put it here I will try hard to get it done. 

In addition to my goals on Thursdays, I will also let you know how my weigh ins go. This morning I was four pounds down. That's a lot (too much) to lose in a week, I know, but it's just because I'm cleaning the crap out of my diet. The first time I did WW I lose 11 pounds the first week!