Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Hey Grandma

Sometimes Chandler Boone calls me Grandma. I always thought it was just because he gets confused (he usually calls me this after a visit from Grandma Jan or Grandma Ann)...but with my behavior lately, I think he may just be trying to open my eyes to something...


...I am aging, rapidly, and it ain't pretty.

I am not just talking about my looks or my gray hairs, although those are not being kind to me, either. I am talking strictly, straight up about my behavior.

EXAMPLE 1:
The other day I had a student in my office, complaining about her mom. Her mom doesn't think she should live off campus next year with her boyfriend. These two are having World War 3 because of this. The mom is doing everything in her power to not let this move happen. My student was whining to me about it, and I finally leaned in over my desk and said words I never thought I would ever say:

"You need to listen to your mom. You are 19 years old. You do not need to be living with a boy!"

WHAT THE FUCK JEN.

EXAMPLE 2:
As most of you probably know, I live in an apartment complex. I live on the bottom floor, so I have neighbors directly above me. During the day, these neighbors are not quiet. They must have their apartment designed to include a bowling alley, because it seriously sounds like they are throwing ten pound balls along the floor. Now, during the day this doesn't bother me. I am probably not that quiet either. I am sure I have annoyed them at times, with my top volume Miley Cyrus tribute concerts that I put on myself or my sex sounds (JFK).

HOWEVER...at night, this girl needs silence to sleep. It's a problem of being single and sleeping alone...I need pretty much complete silence to sleep (also complete darkness) (even though I am kinda scared of the dark). And at night, my neighbors listen to their TV at TOP volume. The past two nights I have even laughed at funny parts of the shows they are watching. It's THAT loud. I didn't think anyone listened to television that loudly except my deaf grandparents and Missy Hardersen.

I've tried giving it right back to them...by cranking my television up as high as it will go at 630am when I wake up. However, it's only made it worse. Now they not only listen to their shows at top volume until well after midnight, but they also wake up first thing and beat me to the volume contest. This morning I was woke up at 6am by their fucking loud ass set.

So what does an old cranky neighbor do?

I called and told on them. My landlord will hopefully handle it.

Or I will get popped off in the parking lot.

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