Monday, March 31, 2014

Things I'm not ready to deal with

  • Tomorrow, when I flip the calendar to April, there are NO MORE CALENDAR FLIPS before my half marathon. 
  • Tonight How I Met Your Mother ends. Nope. Can't deal. Not ready to say goodbye.
  • My long distance BFF Toni wants me to go on a date with a new boy soon. Um. New boy? I don't date new boys.
  • I have this sinking gut feeling that something bad is about to happen, and I can't shake it. 
  • Your mom.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Selfish

Today I had an eleven mile run. If you follow me on instagram, you know how that went.

In the grand scheme of things, it was okay. The first eight miles went surprisingly well. After that my legs just hurt really bad and I wanted water. Usually the bottom of my feet hurt bad on longer runs, so I'm glad that wasn't an issue today.

Anyway, eleven miles means a lot of time to be thinking. After I thought about work, the boy, work again, my friends, my parents anniversary party, and then the boy again, I started thinking a lot lot lot about this girl:


I keep this photo on my phone. When I'm feeling fat, or when I want to throw in the towel and go back to my old lifestyle, I look at it and remember how uncomfortable I was all the time. How I was never confident about my body, or how I looked. How I didn't like photos of myself, and I tried to get in the back of group photos and would cringe when someone would tag me on Facebook in an unflattering picture. 

The decision to start losing weight was the most selfish decision of my life. I know I have told this story before, so I won't repeat it (you can read about it here.) but when I decided to change my life, I didn't take a single other person's thoughts into consideration. I was doing exactly what I wanted, because I wanted to feel better. I didn't care what anyone else thought. 

I am sure you are thinking "who cares? no one should care that much that you are doing something for yourself" and maybe you are right, you smart reader. But changing my life does affect those around me. When I was trying to lose weight, it affected my friends and family. I wouldn't eat certain things, I didn't like going out because it meant beers and bar food, I tried to avoid events that centered around food. I've been basically trying to maintain my weight (although it seems like I'm always trying to lose ten pounds) for a long time now, so that has changed. But all I talked about was calories, or eating, or WW points, or ways to sneak veggies into my diet. I couldn't have been fun to talk to or hang out with. Luckily I had a huge support system who also decided to lose weight, so I had company in my boring talks about nutrition.

However, when a person decides to set a fitness goal, that tends to take over their life. This half marathon training is a freaking time suck. I have to plan my days around my running schedule. For example - when Creighton basketball was doing well, I wanted to go down to the wood to watch a game with Zach so bad - but it didn't fit into my running schedule. My friend is having a freaking baby next week, and my first thought was "what do I run that day?" Then I realized that is ridic, and I will be where I am supposed to be that day...on the running trail.. JFK... I will be at the hospital silly! 

After this half, I will be returning to a normal life of running a few days a week and doing some sort of cross training a few other days. I don't want running and fitness to be my life, I want it to be a part of it that I enjoy. 

Friday

I have been waiting for something awesome to happen so that I have something to blog about. 

Nothing has come up yet. 

Life is just happening, man. Working, running, television, showering, sleeping. Boring. 

I am slowly piecing my life back together after the great purse theft of 2014. I am now, however, scared of everything. I am convinced these fucks are coming after me, even though I am sure they have long forgotten about me and are enjoying all of their purchases. 

I've got some big runs coming up, and I'm back to hating running again. I just want this thing over with! All this prep, all these runs, all this training...for one little old run. I cannot wait to be done with it. 

Also, my boobs hurt so bad I could cry. 

Have a good weekend everyone!

Friday, March 21, 2014

That time my purse got stolen

YOU GUYS. Today I had a ten mile run to do, so I tied up my tennies and headed to Lake Zorinsky, my favorite place to run distance.

Did you like how I tried to sound like a runner there? I run distance.

Anyway, I had this fantastic plan in my head that I was going to run my ten miles, then stop at Casey's for a treat and then come home, shower and go meet the girls for some March Madness. It was the perfect plan. I was actually excited to get the running part over so I could get to the beer part.

I ran and ran and ran. And besides a minor episode where I was sure I was going to poop my pants, and the fact that the wind was HORRIBLE, it wasn't a terrible time. Anyway, then I drove to Casey's to get my treat...and I realized my FUCKING BEAUTIFUL purse was gone.

The next few hours just plain sucked. I searched every inch of my car, cause let's get real, I'm known to lose things. I came home and searched my apartment, in case I had forgotten it all together. Then I accepted the fact that it was stolen, and made all the calls necessary to cancel my accounts.

Those thieving mother fuckers moved fast. They had already been to several stores. Luckily I got everything cancelled and I think I am in okay shape as far as that goes. Then I had to get my apartment rekeyed, since they have my address and my keys. I will have to worry about a new ID and a new SS card next week.

THIS SUCKS.

So I have come to a few conclusions....

1. I am so naive when it comes to my own safety. I leave my purse in my car all the time. I leave my apartment door unlocked sometimes, when I'm out running or when I'm expecting a hot piece of ass to come join me in the middle of the night.
2. I am rethinking my love of expensive purses. My purse alone was over $200, and my wallet inside was also Coach. To be completely honest, I know I can cancel and get reissued credit cards, but I am so sad I don't have that purse anymore.
3. I am seriously considering just carrying a wallet like a man. But I have well over $1500 worth of purses handing in my closet so...I just don't know.

But at least Creighton won today. I'm a happy Jaysker!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I'm not going to talk about running in this entry...

I'm going to talk about weight loss.

JFK. (Just fucking kidding.)

I get sick of hearing myself talk about this crap, so I can only imagine how people (and readers) feel.

So instead I'm going to tell you all of the things that I'm obsessed with right now:
  • SO MANY TV SHOWS. I am obsessed with Dallas, Bates Motel, The Blacklist, Pretty Little Liars, Resurrection, Revenge, The Mentalist. There isn't enough time for all the tv.
  • Pistachios. Can't stop eating them.
  • Jeans. I've been wearing jeans all week because students are on spring break. I don't know how I am going to be able to switch back to work clothes next week.
  • Miley Cyrus. Her songs are the jam.
  • Speaking of songs...Let It Go from Frozen mayyyyyyy be my pre-work jam every. single. morning.
  • Doug McDermott. He brings out my inner cougar.
  • Scruffy faces. SO HOT. Example:

My life revolves around running right now...

Apparently for the next 5.5 weeks, this blog is going to revolve around running.

Because my freaking LIFE revolves around running right now.

I had another great one last night. My ass/legs hurt today, but it's a good hurt. I am actually excited to get my ten miler done this Friday. Today is a rest day, though, and I need it. But I'm on such a good streak right now, I'm terrified to actually not run today.

I know this may make me sound like a baby, but this half marathon training is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I seriously it's top two, only after my miscarriage. It's such a head game and it's so exhausting. And I'm not losing any weight doing it, so it's frustrating on top of all that.

I am, however, excited to just get this thing over with so I can have my life back. Take this Friday, for example. NCAA tournament play has Creighton and Nebraska playing, and people are making plans to take the day off and watch the games. I already have the day off, so I should be stoked, right? No. Cause I have a ten mile run to do, so I'm trying to figure out when I can run and still meet my friends. Because guess what...after ten miles, my ass is going to be exhausted.

Tomorrow I will try to blog about something that doesn't involve running.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Wait, I love running

I swear, I think just having a temper tantrum via my blog helped my brain get over this "I hate running" thing. Last night I took a dinner break at work and decided to run around Fremont. I ran seven miles straight, no walking breaks, and it felt amazing. I have never ran that far without taking a walk break, so I cannot explain the amount of pride I felt when I was done!

I'm trying to figure out exactly what I did differently so that I can replicate that for my longer runs in the future. I drank plenty of water during the day...I went slow and steady and didn't worry about pace, I just worried about moving...I had new songs on my playlist.

That's it! I had three new Miley songs on my playlist and I was so excited to hear them, I couldn't stop running.

I have a ten mile run on Friday-ish. Praying for a good one!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Half training update

This is going to be an entry where I bitch about running. So deal with it.

I hate running. Why did I think signing up for a half was a good idea?

Let me take that back. I don't exactly hate running, but I hate running any distance over five miles. Five miles is just a good amount of running, where I feel like I'm getting a solid workout in. It alone gets me to my 10,000 steps a day goal, it's enough time to listen to a ton of music and work up a very decent sweat.

Anything over that I get bored. My mind starts working overtime, and it starts working against me.

"You can't do this. Stop and walk."
"Your legs hurt. Stop and walk."
"You deserve a break. Stop and walk."

I start making deals with myself.

"If you run to that stop sign, you can watch tv for a solid hour tonight and not move off the couch."
"If you run past that tree, you can go to Casey's and get a fountain soda when you get done."

I might be drinking extra hater-ade because I've been sick lately, so running physically hurts. On Friday, I had a long run and my nose was leaking like a faucet and I kept having coughing fits. I was choking on my own mucus and my sleeves were soaked with snot. (Anyone want to make out?)

Maybe this week will be better. I'm not at 100% yet, but maybe I will be later this week.

This week's long run, 10 miles, will be the furthest I have ever run.

This sucks. I just need to figure out a way to actually enjoy this.

Also, after this half, I will never run more than five miles at a time again. Maybe six.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Just give me a scholarship, yo.

Part of my job includes interviewing prospective students to determine if they should receive an academic scholarship. If you know me at all, you know I love asking people questions, so I jumped at the chance to do this. But even if I didn't, I would be doing it anyway...that's the deal when your best friend is the Director of Admissions.

Anyway, as I ask the students these questions, I always think of how I would answer if I was put on the spot like that. For the most part, our student candidates are smart and come up with their responses right away. They are, by far, more diligent and thoughtful than I am. Since I love to challenge myself, here are the questions and how I would probably answer them if I were put on the spot:

Where is your hometown and how are you a product of that environment?
Uhhh, I'm from Glenwood. Which is a small, quaint little town. I love it. While most people in my class drank and partied and had sex on the weekends, I, for some reason, did not. I was really prude. Ask my high school boyfriend. I think since I was so lame during high school, I went a little overboard in college and barely graduated. Don't worry, I've grown up since then.

What community service project would you want to work on and why?
 I would organize a 5K where the finish line has a huge beer garden and live music, and I would donate all the money raised to the Nebraska Medical Center so they could help people who can't afford their medical bills. But the money can only go to good, hardworking people, with insurance, who just got a bum deal and are in over their head with the medical bills.

What does success mean to you and what did you learn from a time when you weren't successful?
To me, success means being happy. A lot of people look at my lifestyle and think I'm a hot mess...33, single, no kids, I just started yet another job...little do they know, I am completely happy, and I consider myself very successful. Well, I will be once I get a few credit cards paid off.

A time I wasn't successful...well, going back to almost failing out of college...I don't know what my deal was, but my senior year of college I just could not be bothered with classes. So I didn't go. And I almost failed. It was like a down to the last second am I going to graduate or not type thing. It was terrible. I learned my lesson, I will never be that irresponsible ever again. When I went back to get my masters degree, I had a 4.0 at graduation.

What qualities and attributes will you contribute to our community?
I am kinda hilarious, and creative and I am really good at Super Mario Brothers. Any of them. One through three. Bring it on. 

What personal traits would you like to build upon in the next four years?
Oh goodness. What do I want to work on? Well, I want to lose ten pounds. I always want to lose ten pounds. I also want another Coach purse. I want to be more financially responsible, though, too, so I guess I won't buy a new purse.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Random Tuesday

As my blog posts get fewer and fewer, my headline creating skills are getting suckier. Not that I have ever been that creative, but I can't for the life of my come up with a better name for this random collection of information I'm about to throw out you.

Yesterday was so weird.

I got up and went to work. After four days off, I seriously had no idea why my alarm was going off at 6:50a. I had no idea where I was, what day it was, and why I was being awoken. Slowly I figured it out when I remembered I do, in fact, have a job...and wait a tick...it's JEANS day, because I only have to work a HALF day because we are heading to FAMILY FUN CENTER this afternoon!

(I am completely and totally motivated by Jeans Day at work.) (Shut up, Nick.)

Anywho, I made the day trip to Fremont, worked for a few hours, then headed to Family Fun Center, where the following things happened:
  • I ate too much.
  • I sucked at putt putt.
  • I fell in LOVE with Bazooka Ball and may invest in some nerf guns.
  • I seriously do love arcade games and anytime anyone wants to go, I'm game. 
  • I realized how amazing it is to leave my work people and then have a very tiny drive home. 
After that I ran...outside! LOVE. I cannot wait until the weather is better and I can do this daily. I am so sick of the treadmill the thought of it makes me want to cry and die.

So after that I went to Chick Fil A and immediately negated my calorie burn. You see, today is Ash Wednesday, and while I am not a good Catholic girl, I like to see if I can participate in Lent. I usually fail pretty badly, but this year I am giving up meat, and I am anxious to see how long I can last. So I meated out at Chick Fil A last night, and that shit is bomb.com. 

I went home then, and was excited to catch up on my DVR and have a quiet evening. Then the fire alarms went off at 7p. I thought it was my cell phone at first. So few people call me I don't ever recognize my ring tone. Then I realized the sound was coming from the hall. I lived in the dorms at BVU, where we had fire alarms pulled by drunks every weekend, so my first thought was that this was fake. Then I realized I am 33 and one of the youngest people living in my apartment complex, so I went out to investigate and the following things happened:
  • It was, in fact, a real fire. Smoke was pouring out of one of the third story windows. 
  • It was down a little bit from my apartment, so my stuff is fine, but it was still terrifying. 
  • I was trapped outside for a solid hour where I walked around in a hoodie, sweats and a pair of Missy's tennis shoes and looked homeless. 
  • I have never spoken to my neighbors, but I now know quite a bit about them.
  • One of them referred to me as "that girl who runs all the time" and it made my freaking day. 
We finally got to go back in, and it took me forever to warm up, and it took them forever to turn our water back on.

And that was that.