I've done a lot of thinking this weekend, which is never a good thing. While a lot of things about me aren't qualities of your typical girl, one that holds true is my ability to overthink and overanalyze a situation until I have unraveled it and twisted it in so many ways the original thought cannot even be recognized.
That being said, even after a totally amazing event with a totally amazing guy, within hours of leaving him I often have myself convinced he is over me. That means I am constantly looking for reassurance, often making myself look quite pathetic in the process. After that I tend to shut down, feeling defeated.
Where does this come from? I have no idea. Clearly I have issues with relationships, guys, sex, commitment, monogamy, etc, etc etc. I have some pretty good ideas where a lot of my issues come from, but this is a blog not a therapy session yo.
Anywho...while having my meltdown this weekend, I started to think about what I really want, anyway. I know I love almost everything about my life, and I have been on my own for so many years I don't even know how to fit a serious relationship into it. But when it comes down to it, do I want a guy who wants to hang out with me? Yes. He doesn't have to live with me, he doesn't have to marry me, and he certainly doesn't have to hang out with me every day...but he has to want to spend time with me, just me, where we can talk and do all the ridiculously quirky things that make relationships unique and enjoyable.