Wednesday, February 5, 2014


I've mentioned on this blog a few times that I haven't really dealt with death since my Grandpa Wilson died in 1990. At that point I was ten years old, and I remember feeling like my heart would never heal. I still miss him every day, and I wish I could have grown up more with his guidance and advice. He was such a sucker when it came to his grandchildren, and I know he would have gotten a kick out of Bill and Kate as they got older, and when John and Amanda joined our family, and with all the little nuggets we have running around now.

I am nervous about what will happen when I lose someone again, and this week I got the bejeezus scared out of me. Last week Grandpa Neppl called me to tell me he had made an appointment with my sister's doctor (Nicole is his nurse) because he hasn't been feeling right for awhile. I knew he was serious (and scared) when he actually admitted he needed to go to the doctor. We're not sure exactly what's up with him, but the word cancer has been thrown around. He ended up in the hospital for a few days this week, and had a lot of tests ran. I am anxiously waiting to hear what is wrong.

I am sure you can guess that none of this sat well with me. I don't want to lose my grandpa yet, so I am praying hard that we have more time with him. I went to the hospital yesterday to see him, and he was sitting up by the time I left. He got to go home today, but we had another scare last night when he fell trying to go to the bathroom by himself. He's just so weak, and it's so hard to see him like this.

There are so many things I love about this man. Let me name a few...

  • My grandpa thinks everything is "bullshit." Everything. No matter what you tell him, his answer is "bullshit". 
  • He always wears brown pants and a flannel. I've never seen him in anything else. I finally asked my grandma how many pairs of brown pants he owns. She said about five, and they have ordered them from a tractor supply store for several decades. 
  • He sips whiskey all day long, out of a coffee cup. 
  • This man says the worst things. Racist, insensitive, horrible things. And I giggle every. single. time. 
  • He watches the news all day long, on a loop. By the time the same news story has been repeated about ten times, he will sometimes switch over to Storage Wars, Family Guy or Ridiculousness on MTV.
  • He thinks the Catholic Church is bullshit because he had to go to Catholic School as a kid and the nuns were mean to him. He had to skip school in six grade to help with the harvest, and when he got back to school he got in trouble for missing. So he never went back.
  • He loved his mama more than any person in the world. He calls her a saint.
  • He has nicknames for everyone. Lido Tid. NickleTid. KatieToo. SuperTid. Tooters. Zig. Pusscat. Bun. Dubbs. Slodge. Louie. Bo Jangles. Jiggs. Flake.
  • Everytime I see him he asks why I'm still driving the same car. He did this even when my car was like one month old. 
  • My grandpa can't hear anything. He sits with his TV on at top volume, and then constantly yells "What?!" when someone tries to talk to him
  • He loves to pretend he doesn't really love my grandma.
  • But when she was sick in the hospital he was worried sick, wouldn't leave her side and brought her roses.
  • Also when Gram was in the hospital, he made us all take a shot of whiskey when her tests came back and she was cancer free. 
I don't know how much time we have left with my grandpa. It makes me sad to think about. This whole thing is bullshit.

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