Monday, January 6, 2014

It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell

One morning during my long, wonderful holiday break, I woke up and found myself with nothing to do for several hours. I turned on my TV and found my DVR empty...so I did something I never do...I looked through the channels to find something to watch. I stumbled upon a Saved by the Bell marathon on MTV2.

Cut to two days later. I have now binge watched four seasons of this damn show, and I even dreamt about Zach Morris and AC Slater. They were fighting over me like I was Kelly Kapowski.

This show was such a huge influence on my middle school life. I wish I could fully express in this blog how obsessed I was with Zach Morris. I loved him. I was convinced no boy would ever measure up to him.

However, watching this show as a 33 year old has brought some different feelings. Here is what I am noticing now:

  • Zach Morris was a dick. He was a terrible friend. He went to all lengths to get his way, even if it meant ruining his friend's lives and taking full advantage of them. Every episode he was a scheming piece of shit.
  • I was madly in love with him, don't get me wrong. But he fell for a new girl every episode and always fell head over heels, and then the girl never showed up again. Did he dump her off camera, then she couldn't deal so she transferred? We will never know what happened to that female wrestler or Slater's sister. And dude...he had like the biggest summer romance ever with Stacey Karosi, and she never even came to Bayside to visit.
  • Also, no one was safe from his blonde liplock. Jessi and Lisa both fell for him at one point. Seriously? Give me a break. Actually, all these slut bags ended up liking each other at some point.
  • It's impossible to watch this sitcom now and actually appreciate Screech at all, since I know what a douche bag he grew up to be.
  • The sense of continuity in this series was ridic. In one episode, Kelly and Zach were dating. In the next one, Zach was on to another chick. In one episode, Kelly had a terrible singing voice. In the next, she is jamming out in the Zack Attack band.
All of that being said, what are my most true, honest thoughts about Zach Morris. I'd hit it. Hard.

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