Monday, December 16, 2013

Fitness review

Having health insurance is awesome, don't get me wrong, but it also comes with some suckiness. 

When I worked at Kaplan, our health insurance made us do a wellness piece of it, where we had to answer a ton of questions online and have a physical every year. I think this is pretty normal. Luckily the girlie doctor counted as the physical, so every year I would half ass answer the questions, go renew my birth control, and forget about it until the next year. 

Midland seems a little more mindful of our wellness. 

We had to answer a questionnaire similar to what we dealt with at Kaplan, but this time I decided not to half ass it, but whole ass it. I answered every question honestly. Then, we had what they dubbed a "wellness fair" that we had to attend, which included getting weighed, measured and a blood draw. 

To say I was nervous is an understatement. 

I am less skittish when it comes to blood and stuff, but let's get real...I am still a pussy. I am still terrified of needles and anything sharp. It's been a really long time since I have completely passed out (I've had two bad spells, but I didn't go down), and I really really didn't want to be the next time to be in a conference room with all my new co-workers. I am already known as "that girl who walked into a pole and cut her eye open" (oh yeah...that happened...don't ever text and walk, people), so I really didn't want to be known as "that girl who passed out, too). 

So I was a mess. My office mate Rachel went with me. Somehow, everything went fine, after I had warned everyone within listening radius that I might pass out. I also made the nurse lady promise she wouldn't call 911 or make me go to the hospital, and I also drilled her on her credentials and how long she has been drawing blood and what would she do if I passed out. 

The other day I got my results in the mail. The four things I need to work on are:

1. Lose more weight. I knew this already, although the weight they want me to get down to probably will never happen. It's basically my birth weight. 
2. Eat better. If they knew how I used to eat, trust me, they would be pleased with the strides I have made. But I know I need to make improvements here, as well. 
3. Lower my cancer risk. I'm really not sure how to do this, and it didn't really give me any information. I don't smoke or really do anything that is asking for cancer, so whatevs. 
4. Lower my blood pressure. I really don't know what to say about this one, because my blood pressure has been high for quite awhile, because getting my blood pressure taken makes me extremely nervous. I am always convinced I am going to pass out if I'm in a doctor's office or hospital, so of course I measure a bit high. Duh. 

As weird as this is to say, I am actually happy with all the bullshit my new insurance company and employer is making us go through. It's oddly comforting to know what my main problems are. Now if only they would make us all have mental health coverage as well, cause you don't want to get up inside this head. 

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