Friday, November 1, 2013

Guys drive me CRAZY

First of all, it's November. It's some sort of National Novel Writing month. I have never written a novel, although I think I could. I even had a dream the other night that I think would make a tremendously popular novel.

Since I will not be participating in the novel writing, I decided I would make every effort to blog every day. Lucky you!

Today's entry is all about guys, and the ways they drive me batshit crazy.

I remember in college, when I had a column in our student newspaper, I wrote one week about how crazy guys made me. My reasons were things such as not answering emails or MSN Instant messages fast enough, or ignoring me to play stupid football games on their Playstation.

I would like to say my reasons have matured with age, but they have not. Guys drive me BATSHIT crazy and it's pretty much for the same reasons.  So I am going to make a list of the reasons guys drive me bananas, and hopefully some of this venting helps me not kill them. Some of these aren't limited to lovers or gentleman callers, male friends and relatives are also included in the mass hatred I am experiencing right now.

1. When I try to get ahold of you, whether it is via texting, emailing, phone calls, snail mail, smoke signals, whatever...FUCKING ANSWER. It does not take long to send a text reply or check your email. If you are obsessed with your phone, I know you see my attempts for attention. So answer me.

2. I am not going to be interested in everything you are, and in reality, you shouldn't want this. Yes, I like to watch football. No, I am not interested in your fantasy draft. Just tell me if you win. And yes, it may be "so hot" for women to know all about sports, but I will never be one of those women.

3. Sometimes I just want to feel safe and small and taken care of, and that might mean you getting on top of me. (This one is only in reference to lovers.)

4. I will agree that video games aren't that dorky anymore, and I have even been known to get uber obsessed with certain games (#guitarhero #homeatingsoupforlife). However, I don't want to watch. Don't ever invite me anywhere to watch you play video games. First of all, I'm 33 and (for the most part) I don't do anything I don't want to do. Second of all, if I did go, I would just end up playing on my phone the whole time, and I can stay at home and do that.

5. When I was younger, games were played. I admit it. If I got ignored, I ignored back. I knew if I did certain things, I could get certain reactions from certain people. So I get it. When you play games on me, I know what you are doing. So stop it.

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