Friday, November 22, 2013

"Bad" luck?

During a recent conversation with my grandma, I mentioned that if my Aunt Tammy didn't have bad luck, she wouldn't have luck at all. Grandma could not figure out what I was talking about.

"You know, like she buys a new car and immediantly gets in a wreck and totals it. Then she gets another new car and it's destroyed by hail, the same week that all of her appliances break."

Grandma still couldn't believe I thought that about Tammy. "That's what I think about you!" she said pointedly.

What the deuce! I can't believe anyone would think I am that unlucky. Then I thought back to the last five years  of my life...

...that time I miscarried a baby, and of course it couldn't be a normal miscarriage, it involved emergency surgery and loss of internal organs.
...that time I got laid off from Harrah's, when I thought I was going to retire from there.
...that time I was unemployed for ten weeks, only to find a job and then get laid off again six months later.
...that time I found a huge lump in my neck and have to have it removed via surgery which equaled an entire week in the hospital.
...that time I got laid off again, after many promises of "safety".
...that time a semi went in reverse down 72nd Street in Omaha and pushed me along with it.
...that time my "guarenteed" job at Metro got pulled out from under me.

Okay, so that's some shitty situations. But here's the weird thing: I still feel incredibly lucky. I feel so so so blessed every single day. All of those things happened for a reason. I wouldn't be the person I am today had any of those events not happened. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I developed a "whatever" attitude. Not "whatever" as in I don't care, but "whatever" as in I know I can get through anything. I can weather any storm, and I can get through anything. I'm not scared of things happening in my life (except murder...I am absolutely terrified of getting murdered and I don't think anything will change that). After the first hit (the miscarriage) when I was sad and depressed and pretty much wanted to die, I took a full year to be sad and mourn and then I said enough of that. Now I know I will never be that low again. Now I want to be healthy, and I want to live and be happy. I try not to waste days, and I try to never have a day go below a 7 (most of you know I base everything on a 1-10 scale). Every night when I lay my head down, I think of how lucky I am, and how blessed my life is.

I bet (and hope, because she's amazing) that my Aunt Tammy does that same.

No comments:

Post a Comment