Thursday, October 17, 2013

I'm just a girl, which I guess means I only like jewerly and babies

Hi everyone. Last weekend my sister and I headed to the Qwest (yes, I know it's really called Century Link, but I can't get on board with that) (I still listen to Sweet 98 too) for an expo that was geared towards the ladies. I believe it was called Just For Her Expo, or something like that.

I am not sure what I was expecting, but I was excited. I love trade shows like that, and pretty much the only part of the sales manager jobs I liked was working these shows. Not only because I liked talking to as many people as I could about my business, but because I loved walking around to the other vendor booths and talking to people who were passionate about their business.

At any rate, the ladies show meh. whatevs.

There was some cute stuff, don't get me wrong. It made me want to have a baby for like two seconds, until I remembered they are a little more work than just dressing up in cute Husker clothes. There was a ton of jewerly booths, and a lot of booths about quick weight loss pills to take to lose a ton of weight at once, or surgeries to instantly fix the problem.

Let me prefix this by saying I am not a feminist in any way shape or form. Or at least I didn't think I was. I don't care about doing the dishes or doing "womenly" duties, but I guess I would like to make as much money as men do. So I guess I am a feminist who secretly likes doing household chores and (not so secretly) likes giving blow jobs.

Okay. So that being said, I was oddly disappointed about the selection of vendors at this show. It was all about jewerly, and baby clothes, and quick weight loss.There was even one guy who made me listen to a ten minute presentation on water that runs through my washer and how dirty it probably is. (Dude. I don't care. See the glazed eye look? I'm not high, you're just boring as fuck.) I guess I was just hoping for other things...which made me think, if there could be an expo for just me, whatever I wanted, what would be there?

1. A few running vendors. I want an expert to talk to me about what kind of shoes I should by, what kind of clothing I should buy, is it normal that my knee randomly hurts or that sometimes I get the worst stomachache ever in the middle of a 5k? I want someone from Peak Performance or the running expert from Scheels (you have a commerical, so I know you have "experts" there) to be there to talk to women about actual real ways to get in shape. I don't just want seven booths telling me about weight loss surgery and a magic pill that will make me lose weight as long as I take it in the morning and then eat 500 calories that day.

2. Cute clothes for girls who like sports. Wait. I guess I should say "cute clothes for girls who like to hang out with boys while they watch sports and I either drink or play on my phone". There were quite a few clothes vendors there, but it was all about bling and more bling. I want cute NFL clothes, or cute NCAA clothes. The selections at stores suck, and I don't want to buy stuff online. I tried that and I ended up with a Bears shirt long enough to be a dress. Not okay.

3. I want Weight Watchers and Body by Vi there. Those are the two things I use, so other women may want Jenny or Nutrisystem or whatever, but this is my expo damn it.

4. After learning about running and weight loss, I want Annie's pretzels there and a full throttle soda.

5. I want an Apple booth! Duh. And maybe a Droid booth, so someone could teach me how to use my new work phone.

That's all. 5 booths. I suppose I could just go to the mall.

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