The other night I had exactly three beers, so I was drunk. And of course, that meant I was asking ridiculous questions. I asked Nick and Hannah if there was anything they could safely say they would never do. Hannah said she would never sky dive. Nick said he would never eat a waffle taco from Taco Bell. Hannah said she couldn't say the same.
I agree, I will never eat a waffle taco. There is nothing appetizing about that thing. I will also never eat a Doritos taco. Although it does basically look like a mini version of Ebmeier Nachos, which I love, there is just something about it that won't allow me to order it from Taco Bell.
There are other things I can safely say I will never do.
I will never, ever, be able to swim. I'm 33. Clearly too old for swim lessons, and also, since I have managed to get this far in my life without swimming, I think I can manage for the rest of my existence.
I will never eat breakfast from a fast food restaurant. Yes, this is similar to swearing off waffle tacos, but I am also branching out and including all fast food places that offer breakfast items. SICK.
At this point, I think it is safe to say I will never run a full marathon. Too hard.
I will never go back to school. I am already a master. Leave me alone.
I will never go to Japan. Or China. Or Vietnam. No thanks.
And apparently I will never warm up today, since I am freezing - my office has the air on full blast. I know it's 100 degrees out, but it does not need to be 62 degrees in here. And the idiot at the desk next to me just turned her fan on full blast, which puts me at a toasty 45 degrees. Not okay!