Thursday, August 29, 2013

Wish List

I don't watch Teen Mom, but obviously I know who that trainwreck Farrah is. I stalked her a little bit when she was living in the area, and I admit sometimes I drove past her house trying to get a glimpse of her or her cray cray mom. I checked out her sex tape (don't judge) and now I see she has made a wish list on Amazon, just in case any of her fans want to buy her presents.

Well, for any of you who feel the urge to buy me presents, I thought I should provide a wish list for you. So here is what I want:

  • I want to live with this guy. For one, I think it would be convenient to have a roommate who was literally made out of money. Every time he shook his head, I could use the quarters for laundry. And he seems pretty entertaining.
  • I want someone to provide me with a chart explaining every single piece of Pretty Little Liars. That show is hella-confusing.
  • I want skin removal surgery, and then I want someone to change the world and make it so bad carbs don't make you fat.
  • I want a job with health insurance, people who are fun to work with, and good food days.
  • I want everyone who uses sprinklers on my running route to turn them on at the same time (when I'm running) so that I can be cooled off every few steps when I'm out in this dreadful heat.
  • I want my mom to disable her facebook.
  • I want to live in a house in a cul de sac with some fun neighbors.
  • I want the Huskers to have a winning season.
  • I want the Bears to win the Super Bowl.

So...if anyone would like to take care of any of those items for me, just let me know. 

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