Monday, August 5, 2013

Let's get real.

The other day I reached out to my Twitter family and asked for blog ideas. My soulmate Wendy suggested I write about Big Brother and how I would do if I was a contestant on the show.

I super love Big Brother, and I hope it lasts forever. I mean, it's already been on the air forever...it started in 2000, which was a long freaking time ago. I missed the first season, but one night during the second season I was at Nick's house and he was like "Should we check out this Big Brother thing?" and from that moment on, I was hooked.

Although I love it, I would not be a good contestant and I would def get kicked out right away. Let's discuss why, shall we?

  • I feel like, if I were on this show, I would have an identity crisis right from the start. I would go in with the gameplan of laying low and being nice to everyone, like Jordan did during the season she won. That would work for about an hour, but then I would turn into a mean girl, making rude comments about the other girls and giving everyone the JenWilson glare. I would stare at people like they were idiots, and I would be that first eviction, with the reason being "at this point there has been no game play, so we are just evicting you because you are a bitch."
  • If I were to make it past the first week, we would also have a problem with competitions. I think I am amazing at all games and puzzles, but in reality I am no good. I am in decent shape now, so I could hold my own at those type of comps, but I am no where near good enough to actually win. And I don't know if people realize this, but I am a SORE loser. Like the worst. I stomp around and threaten to kill those who beat me. So I would probably get removed from the show for making death threats.
  • However, one thing I would be good at it avoiding a show-mance. I have never been the type to just randomly hook up with people (except for maybe a few exceptions in my younger days), so I could easily avoid that.
  • Another thing I would be amazing at is lying. I am a great liar. Only those who know me well can sniff out my lies, and none of those fools in the house would know me well enough. 
  • But let's just cut to the chase and get to the real reason why I would never make it in the BB house - I am not running around half naked all summer. One piece swimsuits only on this wore out, stretched out body!

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