So, you (and everyone who knows me or walks past my desk) knows that I met Bret Michaels a few weeks ago. I LOVE him, but I don't want to do him. I was trying to explain this to someone the other day, and I couldn't quite explain what I meant.
"Like, I LOVE him, like LOVE him. I adore him. But I don't want to see his penis. It would like ruin it, you know? Like I like keeping this thing innocent."
He looked at me like I was crazy, and I admit I mostly am. How do I love this man so much, yet I have no desire to sleep with him?
I mean, let's get real, Bret Michaels isn't my type. Besides being closer to my father's age than my own, his makeup is always better than mine, his stomach is WAY flatter, and his hair is def more luscious and not frizzy ever. I can't compete with his beauty.
So what does make a guy irresistible to me? Well, let's just make a top five list to explain it!
1. He needs to be confident, on the verge of arrogant. I love a man who knows he is good at something and owns it.
2. He needs to be passionate about something. Anything. I don't care if it's work, his kids, a sport, whatever. Just love something enough to really care about it and want to exceed at it. Exceptions to this would be: drinking, doing heroin, beating women or abusing children. I don't need any guy who is super passionate about any of those things.
3. At my age, it's hard to find a guy who doesn't have at least one kid. Good, involved dads are SUPER HOT.
4.Positive attitudes are also a huge turn on. I don't want to be around Debbie Downers, ever, so if a guy is one he is marked off the list. A guy who is the life of the party and cracking jokes immediately gives me a little female woodie. Also - I really love hosting parties, so a guy who wants to have his buddies over for football games, grill outs, etc, would be great.
5. Any guy who just takes charge is aces in my book. I realize this pushes the female movement back about 50 years, and I'm not saying I want to be in an apron in the kitchen (although I do kinda likes aprons). I am just saying I want someone to tell me what to do. I want someone to always drive, because I suck at it (clearly, I just got hit by a freaking semi). I want a guy to be like "We're going here for dinner. Then we're going to this movie." I've been making decisions and doing whatever I want for 32.95 years, now I want someone just to tell me what to do.