Thursday, July 18, 2013

I can't quit you, dew.

I was approached last week to be in a Facebook Challenge group for weight loss/living healthy. With a whopping .4 weight loss this week, I think it's safe to say I will not be crowned the winner.

The leader of the group posts motivating, inspirational things several times a day, and yesterday she was focused on why we shouldn't drink soda. I have tried giving up soda thousands of times. Let me give you a rundown of how that works:

Random night at 11:30p - Today I only had one can of Dt. Mt. Dew. I can easily give up soda. Tomorrow I am not going to drink soda.

Next morning, 7:45a - On my way out the door, I grab a can. I stop myself and put it back. I don't need it. Besides, if I have a melt down at work and need soda, I have an emergency one stashed in the fridge.

8:30a, after breakfast - This is when I would usually crack open my can, silently pretending it is a beer and I'm going to be having fun all day rather than sitting and waiting for the sweet release of death at work. It's okay. I can drink water instead.

10a: I WANT A FUCKING DRINK OF SODA. But it's okay. I will drink water.

1030a: Oh my god, I have a headache. It has to be lack of caffeine.

11a: I AM GOING TO DIE. I need soda. Not only is my head pounding, but I am feeling faint. I can't pass out at work, they will call 911.

11:30a: I can make it til lunch. Then I'll have a soda.

11:31a: Fuck this. I'm drinking soda. One soda won't kill me.

12 hours. The threshold of my self control is 12 hours.

On another note, this soda was opened at 8:30a this morning and has been sitting on my desk half full since then. I guess I just have to know things are available to me if I want them, but if they are readily available I don't really need them. Seriously, the inside of my head is a scary place to be.


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