Whenever I run over five miles, my brain goes into some weird mode. It's kinda like I'm drunk, but also like I'm really high. I talk like I am really drunk, but my thought process is like I'm high as a kite.
I did not want to do nine miles yesterday. At all. But when I got home from work, I had 2 hours and 15 minutes before I needed to meet Missy and Katie at Turner Park for the movie. I figured that was the perfect amount of time to run. And since I was running, I decided to just try to get the nine miles out of the way to stay on my training plan.
I was wearing new shoes, which made me nervous.
**Time out. I don't think anyone realizes what a big deal it is that I completely wore out a pair of running shoes and had to buy new ones. It kinda makes me cry. I can't believe I did it. Time in. **
Anyway, so I got started and miles 1,2,3 went kinda smoothly. (Running never actually goes smoothly for me, but it was okay). This is where my mind went a little crazy, and I started making some ridic plans in my head for my future jobs, boyfriends, marriages, houses, etc. It's no wonder, with all those stupid thoughts, that I got confused and actually thought I was a mile ahead of where I was. So when my phone beeped I was just then hitting mile 4, I wanted to break down and cry.
I was running slow. I wasn't even running. I wasn't even jogging. I was like sleep-moving.
When I got to mile 5, I was right in front of my apartment. I thought for a second I should turn in, get some water and then go back out and do the last four miles. But I knew if I went into my apartment I wouldn't want to leave again, so I crossed 96th Street and went into this cute little neighborhood so I could knock two miles out, and then I could run my last two miles around my apartment to land me at my front door when my phone beeped nine miles.
Bad idea. I needed water so bad. It was all I could think about. I was going to be running through a park at about the mile 7 mark, so I planned on getting a drink at the water fountain. Wait, what if there isn't a water fountain? Do parks even have water fountains?
I was in a panic, and I was fairly convinced I was going to die from thirst. Cue the over dramatics. But then I seriously got all up in my head, and I was convinced I was going to pass out as well.
I came to a driveway where a father and son were washing their car. Before I could even think, I came to a dead halt and took out my ear buds.
"I know this is super weird, but can I take a drink out of your hose?" I blurted out.
The dad looked at me. I must have looked like death. "Of course you can. But would you like a bottle of water instead?"
I almost started crying. "Oh my God, yes!"
The son ran into the garage and returned with the water. I took it and yelled "You guys are my angels!"
And then I guzzled half the bottle, started running again, and promptly got a stomach cramp.
To say the rest of my run was bad is an understatement. I was disgusting. I felt like my face was covered in dirt (it wasn't). My fingers were fatter than they were when I was 90 pounds heavier. I was miserable. My legs hurt so fucking bad. My feet hurt so bad. My vagina even hurt. And thank God I stopped at random guy's house and asked for water, because the park had no water fountain.
I got to mile 8.5 and texted Missy that I was going to be late. I knew it would take me awhile to get my shit together, and I was going to need to find something to eat. I also texted her I was probably going to die.
Finally, I hit nine miles and I seriously thought I was going to die. Every single step hurt. I got into my apartment and sat on the couch, even though every single inch of my clothing was soaking wet with sweat. Then I crawled...yep, I crawled...into the bathroom. While peeing, I peeled off all my clothes and then I laid on my back on my bathroom floor. I felt dizzy and like I was going to puke. Then I crawled...yes, crawled...to my bedroom and laid on my bed for a few minutes. Runners' high my ass.
I think I am going to wait awhile before I attempt my ten miles. I am going to repeat my 8 and 9 miles runs until I feel better about them.