Friday, May 17, 2013

Billboard Music Awards

The Billboard Music Awards are this Sunday, and, as usual, I'm pretty damnit pumped for an awards show. I think for awards shows I will start predicting winners on my blog, and then if I am spot on maybe one of my readers could pay me like one million dollars for my correct predictions. I'll let you guys decide who will do that.

2013 Billboard Music Award Nominees

Top Artist:
Justin Bieber - No, he is too much of a mess anymore.
Maroon 5 - I think these guys should win. You know. Adam Levine and those other guys.
One Direction - Just no.
Rihanna - She is too hard for me to look at.
Taylor Swift - I super love my Tay Swift, so I wouldn't be upset with this one, either.

 Top Hot 100 Song:
“Some Nights,” Fun. - Nah.
“Somebody That I Used To Know,” Gotye feat. Kimbra - I think this song will win. It's just so different and damn, does it get stuck in your head.
“Call Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepsen - This would be MY pick if I got to decide.
“One More Night,” Maroon 5 - Again, I love Adam Levine and those other guys. This song makes me want to hump something hard.
“Payphone,” Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa - Dry humping my chair right now.

Top Billboard 200 Album:
21, Adele - Let's all just agree to be done awarding Adele for this album. No more awards for Adele until she has a new album! Deal? Deal.
Babel, Mumford & Sons - No.
Take Me Home, One Direction - No.
Up All Night, One Direction - NO.
Red, Taylor Swift - Let's give Tay this one. This album is

Top Duo/Group:
Coldplay - Know how I know you're gay?
Fun. - I'm assuming these guys will win. And it would be fun to see Lena Dunham going banana sandwich when they do.
Maroon 5 - All I can think of is sex right now.
Mumford & Sons - Nah.
One Direction - Let's not.

Top New Artist:
Gotye - I feel like these peeps will be a one hit wonder. Next...
Carly Rae Jepsen - Probably not.
The Lumineers - I'm guessing this group will win.
One Direction - Are they even still new?
PSY - Seriously? No.

Top Male Artist:
Jason Aldean - It would be awesome if this drunky drunk won.
Justin Bieber - Is he even male yet?
Drake - No. I'm angry with him bc Amanda Bynes wants him to murder her vagina, and I feel if he would have just agreed, I could have my awesome Amanda back.
Flo Rida - No.
Bruno Mars - NO.

Top Female Artist:
Adele - again, not until you come up with another album, sweetie pie.
Carly Rae Jepsen - No.
Nicki Minaj - NO. Is she even female?
Rihanna - No.
Taylor Swift - That leaves you, my sweet magical Tay.

Top 100 Artist:
Flo Rida - I'm so confused with that these categories even mean. I'm just going to go with....
Fun. .....
Maroon 5 - these guys.
Rihanna - Sorry
Taylor Swift - ladies.

Top Billboard 200 Artist:
Adele - What the fuck is this category? I will give this one to.....
Justin Bieber .....
Mumford & Sons .......
One Direction - these guys because their foreign asses should win something.
Taylor Swift - Sorry Tay, I know you dated one of them. Write a song about it.

Top Digital Songs:
Flo Rida - I don't know what a digital song is. Let's give it to.....
Fun. ........
Carly Rae Jepsen - Carly. Call me, Maybe seems pretty digital.
Maroon 5 - Sorry lover.
Taylor Swift - Sorry, friend.

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