Sunday, November 18, 2012

90 for 90!


90 awesome things about losing 90 pounds!

1. People may not realize that when you're big, chairs are nerve wracking. I wasn't comfortable in most office chairs...
2. Or movie theatre seats...
3. Or airplane seats.
4. I also barely fit in the seatbelts on airplanes. I never had to ask for an extender...but I probably should have.
5. I can now wrap a towel all the way around me, with plenty of room to spare.
6. I used to get nervous about sitting in booths, because the table would cut into my gut and I didn't want to have anyone notice my boobs and/or fat was sitting on the table.
7. Now when I shop, I am able to find clothes I like and check for my size. Before, I had to go right to the plus sized section and take what I could get.
8. This one is a biggie - I used to have such huge boobs that I couldn't buy bras in stores. I had to specially order them online. Now I can buy them anywhere - even Target or Walmart.
9. Sex always was good, but WOW - now it's like AMAZING. I won't go into details, but everything in that area is much more awesome now.
10. When I was in public before, I always assumed everyone was judging me because I was fat.
11. I am officially smaller than every member of the Huskers starting line up.
12. I have literally recycled/turned over my entire wardrobe.
13. Going through my closet and making sure everything fits properly is one of my secret favorite past times now.
14. I can now wear dresses - cute ones at that - without being strapped into spanx or feeling self conscious all day long.
15. Speaking of spanx - I don't ever wear them now.
16. I can play, run around, and do anything else with my favorite kiddos now without getting winded or needing to sit down.
17. I had never run a day in my life, but I can now run a 5K, and in pretty good time, too.
18. I know it's conceited...but I LOVE seeing pictures of myself now.
19. I also LOVE catching reflections of myself in windows and doors.
20. I feel so sexy in front of the boy now.
21. I don't have to worry about doing the "slimming" trick to my pictures now before I post them to Facebook.
22. For some reason, maybe because I am more confident with my body, but I am also more confident with my face now and I go without makeup often. Makes me look younger!
23. Oh yeah, and losing this weight has made me look years younger - no kidding.
24. My face is also clearer - probably because I drink a ton more water and eat better now.
25. My friend Missy wears jeans all the time, and I always thought she was crazy because jeans suck - but now that I fit into them comfortably, I love them too! I don't have to change into sweats as soon as I get home, because jeans are just as comfortable!
26. I always knew that I had awesome people in my life, but this journey has truly made me realize how many amazing people are in my corner - so many people have helped me fight through the plateaus, the bad days and the bad weigh ins.
27. When I used to buy junk food, I worried about what people thought of me because I was so fat - clearly, I shouldn't be eating what I was buying. Now, if I do have a cheat moment and buy a bag of Doritos, I don't feel bad or feel like anyone should be judging me.
28. However, I am able to now walk past all that junk food that used to lure me in...I just don't want it now!
29. I am finally able to paint my toenails.
30. I have the most comfortable chair in the world, and I am able to just cuddle right into it now - I'm much smaller, so I can curl up and really make the most of this awesome piece of furniture.
31. I am not much of a jewelry person, but the few rings I have don't fit anymore.
32. I never realized how fat my neck was, but all of my necklaces fit differently now, too.
33. When I go to the doctor now, getting on the scale doesn't terrify me.
34. Also, they can use the "normal" sized blood pressure cuff on me as opposed to the "plus sized" one.
35. When I was going through all my medical stuff with my tumor, the doctors kept telling me that I am healthy as a horse (except for that crazy tumor). In the past, no doctor had ever used the word "healthy" to describe me.
36. I am SO CURVY!! I had no idea my figure was so hour-glassy.
37. Looking back, I cannot believe that amount of food I used to eat.
38. Take McDonalds for example - that place used to get me every time. It was nothing for me to eat two dinners; one at home and then run through McDonalds and get a combo a few hours later. Now if I do go, I get a kids meal and then I am usually sick afterwards.
39. Also, I now recognize I was a binge eater. An exciting evening for me would be laying on the couch, watching TV and eating all night.
40. My legs and knees used to hurt all the time. Especially my knees. I was in complete denial as to why.
41. Speaking of pain - it used to physically hurt to take my bra off every night.
42. I've already touched on my bra size, but it deserves another one - I lost FIVE cup sizes.
43. I can actually share clothes with people now - and when my friends/family clean out their closets, I get to go shopping though them! This was never the case before - I never could have taken clothes from one of my friends or family members, I was always the biggest one.
44. I never used to drink water, and now I am proud to say I drink one small soda a day and more than two liters of water a day.
45. I have been told by so many people that I inspire them. Me? An inspiration? Shut up!
46. After I joined Weight Watchers and was able to drop weight, my two sisters, my step mom, Nick, Hannah, and a few other friends joined as well. It was great to have people doing it with me!
47. I sleep so much better and more soundly now.
48. Fat people smell. I don't know that they realize it, but they do. I did. I don't anymore.
49. I hardly ever get sick.
50. I love getting dressed now. I have such cute clothes, and I love putting outfits together.
51. And I love sleeping in slutty little shorts and cute tops now.
52. I never used to wear tank tops because of my arm fat. I still have arm fat, but I don't mind it because I love me some tanks!
53. My eye makeup looks so much better on a slimmer face. And I don't have to wear hardly any foundation, because my skin is so much clearer now.
54. I get rid of clothes as soon as they are even a little too big - I don't want to hide myself in big clothes! I like tighter, form fitting clothes now.
55. I LOVE shopping at the Goodwill now - I can actually find cheap clothes that fit right!
56. My thighs used to rub together and chafe horribly when I walked.
57. In the past, I would have NEVER worn shorts in public.
58. Or a bathing suit. In fact, I hadn't worn a bathing suit since I was 16 before this summer, when I bought a new one and hung out at the pool several times.
59. I really am a "light weight" when it comes to drinking now.
60. I actually do want to go out and do things now, because I am not so angry/bitter about being fat.
61. I don't hide in the back of group pictures now.
62. I also have no problem kneeling in the front of group pictures, because I'm not worried about my fat rolls or my boobs looking big.
63. My prom dresses from high school fit again!
64. I am smaller now than I was my senior year of high school.
65. I used to pass out all the time. Now, a lot of that was in my head, I know. But now that I eat better, drink more water and am more fit, my fainting smells happen less frequently. In fact, I haven't passed out in five months, and I don't even think that one should count (it was right after surgery).
66. I now know what a "runners high" is and I have had it.
67. I used to steer clear of any clothing with horizontal stripes - now I love them!
68. I can't believe all the excuses I used to have. I am so embarrassed that I used to actually say that I couldn't run or work out because my boobs were too big.
69. Also, I used to claim that my body was supposed to be that big, and I "couldn't" lose weight.
70. I also said I was too picky to diet. Now I have learned you can be a picky dieter. You just eat less of the few food items you do like.
71. Although they would never admit it, I know my parents used to be worried about my size. It is nice to know that they are proud of me and happy for me now.
72. When I stepped on the scale on June 23rd, 2011 I promised myself that was the last time I would ever watch the scale go that high. I kept that promise to myself.
73. I am like a straight Ellen now - I love dancing! Not in clubs (get real, I will never change that much), but in my apartment and with my nieces and nephews. And in public when I am trying to embarrass whoever I am with.
74. When I feel like I might want to binge on food, I lay in front of the tv and do planks or crunches or push ups.
75. When an elevator was full or escalators were broken, I would panic. I did not do stairs.
76. Also, I do not drive around waiting for an up close parking space. I just park and walk, and I even secretly like it when I have to walk a-ways to get up to the store.
77. I love riding roller coasters, but I was always nervous about the seatbelts not fitting me. Not an issue now!
78. I used to just be hot all the time - even when everyone around me was cold, I would be comfortable or even hot.
79. I don't feel guilty now when I treat myself and eat big dinners or dessert. I deserve it. I just have to balance out the rest of the week and make up for it.
80. I am in more control of not only my diet, but also my life, feelings and emotions.
81. I am more confident in all areas of my life, not just my weight.
82. When I see fashion and clothes in magazines, I don't get angry because I won't ever be able to wear those clothes - instead, I get excited at the cute things I can try to find to wear.
83. I am actually flying out to my aunt's this March to run a 5K with her - um, a trip to run? Never saw that happening!
84. I used to always be worried about when I would eat next - even when I was eating one meal, I would be worrying about what I would eat at the next meal. During the meal, I would take a helping of something and start chowing through it quickly so I could get a second helping.
85. I also used to worry if I was spending a whole day with someone, or if I was taking a trip with someone - what if they don't want to eat as much as I did?
86. I used to center events around food - if I went to the movies, it wasn't about the movie, it was about the popcorn and the candy.
87. Fast food is just not a part of my life anymore. I thought I would miss it, but I actually don't at all.
88. My personal trainer, Heather, has become one of my favorite people. She has taught me so much, not just about working out but also about dieting, motivation, commitment and taking care of myself.
89. I have a lot of male friends, and I love being smaller than all of them.
90. I did this all FOR ME. I didn't lose weight because anyone told me to, or because of a guy. I decided one day I was sick of being fat, and I made the promise to myself to change.

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