Thursday, August 30, 2012

Weigh in...pysc, not telling you!

I'm really sorry to all you haters out there who love to see me gain weight (yes, I know you're reading), but I am not telling you this week.

But rest easy. I gained this week.

I have really been struggling lately with myself and this weight loss journey. I know I look better, feel better and am SO much healthier than I was a year ago, even six months ago. I have had to buy all new clothes (literally - every single thing I owned a year ago is gone) and I was actually "healthy" at every doctor's appointment I have had this year (except for that whole tumor thing - which I never would have found if I hadn't lost all that weight in my neck!). Every aspect of my life is different, and I am so much happier.

So why do I let a number on a scale define me and have so much control over my life?

I've been upset since Saturday because the number went up. I knew what I was doing. I ate out twice, and did not make healthy choices at either meal. I didn't even make semi-healthy choices. I ate complete crap. And then all night Saturday I snacked on more not-good choices.

I follow a lot of blogs written by women who are doing this same journey. One of them, Katie at is absolutely an inspiration. She has started making food, fitness and misc. goals every week. I am going to copy her idea. I am so focused on Thursdays, because it has always been my weigh in day. So on Thursdays, I will make my three goals for the following week. I think this is brilliant.

Another one,, is taking a year off from the scale. This makes me nervous, but I am thinking maybe I could just weigh myself once a week rather than every single day (okay least twice a day). This one may not work. I have become quite dependent on my scale.

My scale dictates how my day will go. If it is not a good number, I think poorly about myself all day. If it is a good number, I just want it to be better. Who needs that constant nagging?

I will continue to weigh myself on Thursdays. I will blog when I hit milestones. I am still aiming high (100 pounds by the end of the year), but I need to chill about how crazy I've been about it. Husker football starts this Saturday - let's get real, every Saturday will be a shit show.

So goals are...
Food: I will only allow Saturday to be my out of control day. Normally I find excuses to indulge a few times during the week. But this week, I will only allow tailgating to be an excuse for treats.
Fitness: I am going to continue to walk/run outside for as long as the weather will let me. So between now and next Thursday, the only day I will not be outside for at least an hour is Saturday.
Misc: I  unplugged my cable box the other night, and I couldn't even find the cord in the mess that is behind my tv. Sometime this week, I will figure that disaster out and make it look nicer.

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